Article 103922 of alt.peeves: Path: matra.meer.net!news.spies.com!sgigate.sgi.com!newsfeeder.sdsu.edu!news.iag.net!news.math.psu.edu!news.cse.psu.edu!uwm.edu!news.inc.net!arclight.uoregon.edu!dispatch.news.demon.net!demon!mail2news.demon.co.uk!ibfs.demon.co.uk From: Robert Sneddon Newsgroups: alt.peeves Subject: Re: Annoying Kids, Revisited - the classical response Date: Sun, 21 Jul 96 01:10:26 GMT Organization: Disorganisation Lines: 68 Message-ID: <837911426snz@ibfs.demon.co.uk> References: <4sohjm$ng@scotsman.ed.ac.uk> Reply-To: nojay@ibfs.demon.co.uk X-NNTP-Posting-Host: ibfs.demon.co.uk X-Newsreader: Demon Internet Simple News v1.29 X-Mail2News-Path: ibfs.demon.co.uk In article fps@netcom.com "A device which is exploding." writes: [Clip stuff about Mutual Audio Deafening] > !Peeve : Operatic tenor and soprano spectra lie mostly above 200 to 300 > Hertz, so one could build a satisfactory horn to reproduce them > at skull-popping levels. A device fitting in the back seat of > a modestly sized car could produce, with reasonable amplification, > on the order of 115 db on axis at 3 meters. The possibilities > for retaliation on boom-cars should be obvious. > A toy with more possibilities is the Neutron Bomb Briefcase. We designed this but we never built it, as we decided Man Should Not Meddle In The Realm Of The Gods. 2 cm. dia. copper (silver is better, gold best, but we can't afford it) bar 80 cm in length bent into an almost-closed circle. Strapped across the end are some matched low-voltage high-current MOSFET transistors wired in parallel connected to a couple of NiCd cells (the 1.2V 100Ah type) wired in series with copper strap. The MOSFETs are high-speed, driven by a single-shot monostable multivibrator with a very fast turn-on/off time down in the microsecond region. The centre of the coil (minus an airgap) is filled with transformer I-sections oriented at right-angles to the plane of the coil. All of this fits into a small suitcase, with a trigger switch to your taste mounted James-Bond style near the handle. Having Fun With Your New Toy : 1) Remove all personal electronics and metal from your person. If you have a pacemaker fitted, find another mule to carry the device to the target. If you have a plate in your skull, or pins in bones, or artificial hip joints, the same recommendation applies. At high enough flux densities, it might be an idea to get amalgam fillings replaced by cermit/plastic. 2) Did you remember your metal-framed glasses? Get contacts. 3) Walk up to boom-car at traffic lights/parked outside your house. Place suitcase alongside engine compartment. If you can identify the vehicle type and know where the engine management computer is located, get the case as close to that point as possible. If not, you might just want to go for the passenger compartment and the CD/amplifier instead. With luck, you'll get the mobile phone, laptop, Rolex and other expensive junk in the vehicle as well. 4) Push the switch. Listen to the blessed silence. Listen to the offender puzzle over why his car has just stopped. Walk off nonchalantly, thinking nice thoughts about how much it's going to cost to repair all the damage you have just (invisibly, undetectably, untraceably) done. It will also work on pub jukeboxes, ATMs, your bosses computer, in fact almost any deserving piece of modern technology. It should be good for a dozen shots or so before recharging the NiCd cells. WARNING : Your Fun Toy produces a bipolar lobe of multifrequency EM radiation (EMP). Watch out where the other lobe is pointed. If Granny falls over behind you when you push the switch, she'll probably be needing a new pacemaker. -- "We've got a kilo of grass, a case of Scotch and a crate full of Uzis - "Let's go to Disneyworld !!!!!" Robert (nojay) Sneddon