From hillman@door.net Fri Apr 10 20:13:24 PDT 1998 Article: 91725 of alt.peeves From: hillman@door.net (Dan Hillman) Newsgroups: alt.peeves Subject: Re: How I spent my Saturday Night Date: Mon, 6 Apr 1998 00:22:48 -0600 Organization: DataWeasel Diablo, Inc. Lines: 62 Message-ID: <1d71bxe.11yfcfo15kcphcN@230door162.door.net> References: <6g9cvq$g7d@newsops.execpc.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: 29545@208.234.230.166 X-Newsreader: MacSOUP 2.3 Path: news1.meer.net!nntp2.ba.best.com!news1.best.com!newsxfer3.itd.umich.edu!news-peer.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!Sprint!newsfeed.direct.ca!Supernews73!supernews.com!Supernews69!hillman Julian Macassey wrote: > >The doc sez I need a fucking kidney transplant, but I'm a bit reluctant > >to have it done at the VA Hospital, since I've heard so many negative > >things about it. But, you gotta do what you gotta do. > > You have a choice. I believe you can get a discount > kidney job in Mumbai (nee Bombay) India. Actually, you should have more choices than that. First of all, there's always the choice to just die. According to my mom, who came close to punching out due to kidney failure, it's not painful but rather like having the flu [*]. Then there's the choice to just stay on dialysis forever. For do-it-yourselfers there's something pretty cool about being able to nuke your own peritoneal solution in the microwave and do your dialysis at home. On the other hand, going out for hemodialysis has its own attractions. My former roommate met a perky nurse whilst doing his and happily porked her for several years. Finally, there's the transplant. Sure, you don't have to do dialysis, but you do have to suck down immuno-suppressants for the rest of your life and hope that you don't reject the thing and have to start all over again (as my brother almost did). The good news is that you have a pretty good excuse to get someone else to empty the cat pan for the rest of your life. Your doctor should have given you a perky booklet explaining all of this. I've seen several of them and they all seem to have flowery type and a cover proclaiming "So your kidneys crapped out." The chapters describe your possible options and have chapter titles like: "Letting Nature Take its Course -- Because you're a quitter or a Christian Scientist" "Hemodialysis -- Like giving blood but we won't give you $20 to buy a pint of Old Crow" "Peritoneal Dialysis -- Because when you're writing your name in the snow, penmanship counts." and "Transplants -- The very special gift for which you don't have to write a thank-you note (subtitle: Don't believe that story about the guy who wakes up in a strange hotel room with stitches in his back)" But hey, cheer up. Summertime's coming and the folks on the motorcycles will soon be adding to the selection of kidneys, eyes, livers, and skin. (Well, at least the first three.) The doctors at Mass General's transplant ward call 'em "donorcycles." [*] Be advised, however, that that's almost word-for-word what she said about a heart attack seven years later. I suspect that her dying thoughts were that the flu was getting a bit worse. -- 500 B.C. -- "De gustibus non est disputandum" 1997 A.D. -- "WhatEVuh"