Article: 7261 of alt.support.depression.medication From: "WNY" Newsgroups: alt.support.depression.medication References: Subject: Re: Morning Panic Lines: 139 X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1158 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1165 Message-ID: <5qlFa.41937$y05.39918@twister.nyroc.rr.com> Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2003 13:54:09 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 66.66.3.47 X-Complaints-To: abuse@rr.com X-Trace: twister.nyroc.rr.com 1055253249 66.66.3.47 (Tue, 10 Jun 2003 09:54:09 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2003 09:54:09 EDT Organization: Road Runner Path: news.meer.net!sea-read.news.verio.net!dfw-artgen!dfw-peer!news.verio.net!crtntx1-snh1.gtei.net!news.gtei.net!newsfeed1.easynews.com!easynews.com!easynews!diablo.voicenet.com!cyclone.nyroc.rr.com!cyclone-out.nyroc.rr.com!twister.nyroc.rr.com.POSTED!53ab2750!not-for-mail Xref: archive.mv.meer.net alt.support.depression.medication:7261 "mkahogan" wrote in message news:V80Fa.72061$jT4.1512970@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com... > I have been taking Zoloft for about 5 weeks now. The first 2 weeks, I took > 50 mg, the last 3 weeks I have been taking 100 mg. I suffer from panic > disorder and depression. Well, the depression is better, but the panic is > not. I wake up in the morning feeling like something awful is going to > happen, you know, that wonderful and all too familiar feeling of impending > doom. The first morning this happened, I freaked out. Now that I am > anticipating it, I have been coping by acknowledging that this is just > symptomatic, and I am not "loosing it" and by taking more xanax, a total of > about 1.5 - 2 mg per day. You and I apparently share the same trait of being most miserable upon waking. I tend to gradually improve as the day wears on, with late afternoons usually being my best time of the day to handle things. My morning attacks tend to be triggered by overreaction to some particularly bad event (a client cancels, a surprise stressor like being criticized, being challenged to participate in some event that creates a mini panic attack, or whatever). Once the event hits, I start out being numb, but then within a few days, the morning panic cycle starts. For me, it's not so much a pounding heart, sweating, or shortness of breath - it's racing thoughts about everything I should have done but didn't, the "what am I going to do about 'x'" where "x" is my career, money, being prepared for retirement, what if someone else cancels, what if I can never get through this... etc. It's all amplified in the morning, and it reinforces the worthlessness feelings. The worst year for me with this was the summer of '98 where I spent most of the season doing that every morning, usually culminating in tears and complete loss of joy in those things that used to make me happy. My resentment for having to live this way prompted my first visit to the doctor, who started me on Paxil. It made me lethargic, gave me the usual sexual side effects, gained weight I sure don't need, and overall reduced my ability to accomplish most things. It did actually help me overcome bladder shyness to some degree, which was a complete surprise to me because I never expected it. :-) But I had enough of side effects and switched to Wellbutrin, which only made the panic attacks worse. Wellbutrin acted as a stimulant to me, which only increased the racing thoughts. I settled on Serzone which was largely side effect free and have been on that ever since. A recent new attack has now encouraged me to re-visit the meds and the doctor is adding Lexapro into the mix to see if that can help. I rarely had to pay for Serzone because I maintained my dosage with those "starter packs" the company provided the doctor for giveaways, and I suspect I'll be loaded with freebie Lexapro as well. My only concern with Lexapro will be the usual SSRI side effects, but perhaps they will be lessened. > I was taking Prozac, for 7 years, but felt it was not handling the > depression like I wanted, although it was much better in the panic > treatment. First, whenever it doesn't work after 3-4 weeks, I am back demanding action from the doctor. A dosage increase is the usual solution - I increased Serzone to 500/mg daily finally. If that doesn't do it, or if the side effects suck, I ask for a new drug. It is so true that some of these meds work great for one, do nothing for others. It is easy to get discouraged reading messages from depressed people who share their anti-sunny sentiments on one med or another with things like "Contentufeel sucks and nobody should ever take it," "Nosuicidenol was like rat poison and it almost killed me despite the package insert promising results!," or "Happygoluckutrin made my penis shrivel and fall off." Well, this is an Iraqi Info Minister-style exaggeration, but we have all seen it. Someone depressed and doing research is going to get a lot more depressed reading all this stuff and think nothing is ever going to work. Add a dash of those posting pseudo-science messages attacking all Rx meds and proposing bizarre-ass herbal remedies, which they conveniently sell or earn a commission from, only frosts this cake. I'm sorry, but dried-and-ground essence of cantaloupe flesh mixed with dried monkey ear lobes and ginseng isn't in CVS or Rite-Aid for a reason. :-) > Any words of wisdom?? I am coping, but wish I could get back to feeling > less on the edge. For me, time and breaking cycles seem to be the most effective way to deal with this. Eventually, it does get better. But I also have my tricks which help too: 1) I learned upon waking in the morning, the worst thing I could do was lie in bed. It only made the panic worse because I got to dwell on everything by just lying in bed. So, if I start to have bad thoughts, I immediately get out of bed and get downstairs with breakfast and a distraction. That can be the newspaper or TV... anything that requires active concentration to break free of the panic cycle. Yes, your mind will occasionally try to shift you back to the negativity by sending you little zaps (mine feel like tingling and a slight butterfly in the stomach followed by a wave of sadness). I fight this by focusing on the distraction. 2) Since I know things improve as the day wears on, I remind myself of that fact. Initially, this didn't always work, but as time passed, I did start to believe myself again and my panic subsided. 3) Caffeine is evil for panic attacks. It only increases my mind racing. I look for the extra energy caffeine can contribute, but the jitters and mind racing really just up the level of panic. Plus, if you are a night worrier as well, it makes it much harder to fall asleep at night. 4) Exercise is super duper important. Even when I don't want to do it, I do my daily walk or indoor bike for about an hour a day. You don't need to do that much, but doing at least 30 minutes of exercise actually burns away the pent up anxiety. Always take a Walkman or watch TV while doing exercise. If you don't, you will probably spend that time dwelling on things, which can make you more upset, and then associate exercise with being made upset, which equals not wanting to do it. If you listen to speech or watch television, you focus on what is being said, not on your own problems. 5) Socialize with people you can talk with about this stuff. It really helps to talk about what you feel, especially if you can find someone who also went through it. It helps relieve pent up anxiety, and makes you less isolated. If I sit at home and dwell, it only makes things worse. 6) Inaction is deadly. If I am stuck in a cycle, there is no hope for improvement. So I break it by realizing I hate how I feel, and then zip to the doctor's office and demand action. I treat this whole illness no different than having a stomach pain or infection. I demand something be done about it, and that often breaks the cycle by giving me hope things will improve. I also find being more willing to break out of my regimented, scheduled lifestyle, also helps. I use my routine as a source of stability, but in reality, it only guarantees I am in a rut and indirectly contributes to my fears that nothing will change. I still have a schedule to look forward to, but I am more adventurous about what I will do with that time and try some new things. > I think it would help if our summer weather would kick in here in the > midwest. It has been a cold, rainy spring. I want some heat and sunshine. I live in western New York and between the endless snow of winter and this anti-spring or clouds, rain, gloom and doom, it only makes things worse. Unfortunately, my past worst depression always hit me during the summer months, so summer is no panacea for me, but walking in the sun does enhance my mood. I hope all of this helps. I know we're all different, but some of this might work for you, too.