Article: 19665 of alt.support.marriage Path: mri.mentorg.com!newsgw.mentorg.com!38.8.2.2.MISMATCH!38.8.70.2.MISMATCH!38.9.35.2.MISMATCH!psinntp!peerfeed.news.psi.net!howland.erols.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!intgwpad.nntp.telstra.net!newsfeeds.bigpond.com!not-for-mail From: "Simplicity" Newsgroups: alt.support.marriage References: <371b7443.11803678@nntp.ix.netcom.com> <19990407120917.20126.00003854@ng16.aol.com> <370BA138.DE@ftp.warez.org> Subject: Re: Sex??? Lines: 42 X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2014.211 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.2014.211 Message-ID: Date: Fri, 9 Apr 1999 05:54:41 +1000 NNTP-Posting-Host: 139.134.203.178 X-Trace: newsfeeds.bigpond.com 923601465 139.134.203.178 (Fri, 09 Apr 1999 05:57:45 EST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 09 Apr 1999 05:57:45 EST Organization: Telstra BigPond Internet Services (http://www.bigpond.com) Xref: mri.mentorg.com alt.support.marriage:19665 That's a mistake a lot of couples make... I for one, feel butterflies in my stomach if my boyfriend stops and picks up something for me... even if it cost nothing... It's the thought that counts (Cliche) ... so if he wants to make me happy he has to give the kind of love that *I* want... The I give him the kind of love the he wants (which is lotsa contact sport :-) and it's a continuous cycle of giving and receiving what makes each one happy... When I was younger, I made a mistake of giving my ex-bf's lots of gifts and thought, why don't they appreciate it (as much as I do)? ... and they'll be (trying to) give me lots of sex and wonder why I don't want it (as often)... until it got into a vicious cycle and ended up parting. Someone gave me a good analogy of this... a man and a woman who want to get Love can be compared to 2 people wanting a bowl of Soup... the woman really likes Chicken Soup and the man likes Mushroom Soup ... the woman makes a mistake of giving the man Chicken Soup because *she* thinks it's the yummiest thing... problem.. the man really doesn't like Chicken Soup but he still tries to have it to please her until he gets sick of it ... and vice versa where he tries to give her Mushroom Soup that she's not really fond of until she gets sick of it... Both people want to get Soup (Love) but are not being given the right flavour ... :-) Hope that made sense :-) Nobody wrote in message news:370BA138.DE@ftp.warez.org... > counsel wrote: > > wreaks silent havoc on a relationship. You might want to make it a point > > to enjoy special sexual experiences at times completely unrelated to > > "gifts", etc, so that he knows you are truly acting out of love (and/or > > desire) for him. Just a thought. > > Yeah, I agree with this 100%. I think conditioning sex on > any material gift is a recipie for a relationship meltdown. > Even if its done unconsciously, my hunch is that it can > poison things in time. Yuck. > > Drew