Article 10791 of alt.tv.kids-in-hall: Path: matra.meer.net!goonsquad.spies.com!genmagic!bug.rahul.net!a2i!news.erinet.com!uunet!in1.uu.net!news.sprintlink.net!eon.ecco.com!news From: tyrrell@ifu.ifu.net (Gary Tyrrell) Newsgroups: alt.tv.kids-in-hall Subject: Re: Dr. Suess Bible??? Date: 17 Aug 1995 22:36:42 GMT Organization: Internet For 'U' Lines: 67 Message-ID: <410g9q$2k8@eon.ecco.com> References: <40vu3c$cv2@nic.umass.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: ip38.ifu.net X-Newsreader: WinVN 0.90.4 In article <40vu3c$cv2@nic.umass.edu>, ltv@wilde.oit.umass.edu () says: > >I saw mention of a sketch involving a Dr. Suess Bible! Does anyone have >a transcript or even a quote from this sketch?! > >-- Okay, here we go; this is from memory, if somebody has the transcript, perhaps they could post it/mail it to you. Enjoy. (Dave rises from behind a podium with a Cat-in-the-Hat hat, opens a book) The Dr. Suess .... BI-ble One day God said, here is what I will do I will send down my son, I will send him to you To put an end to all this humpity-bumpity hullabaloo His name will be Christ, and he'll never wear shoes His pals will all call him the King of the Jews! He didn't come in a plane, he didn't come in a jeep He didn't come in the pouch of a high-jumping vo-veep (you just have to He came on the back of a black sa-ska-too (see the visuals Which is the blackiest creature you ever could view (here; can't describe) Christ went to Jerusalem, home of the grumpity Jews Where false prophets were worshipped, some even in twos There was Murrary von Mur, and Ghengis vo Voos, The one you could worship by taking a snooze! The Christ stood on a mound, which is a pile of ground, and people gathered around, without making a sound. Thus he spake: (pauses, wondering "Sin in socks, socks full of sin, (where the rhyme went How shall we quiet this Jehovity din? Do unto others as they do unto you That includes YOU young Timothy Foo" (Dave points to (small scared boy Then one Pharisee said to another he knew, "What shall we do with this uppity Jew?" (This is Kevin "Let's wash him in wine and make him all clean (This is Bruce And into Sam Zittle's crucifixion machine!" Whirl the gawhirl! Release the Gafweese! (Dave again In go the nails as neat as you please! (Christ, aka Scott, in a (machine operated by Mark And it's said that he said as he bled, "Forgive them Father, they know not what they do" (this is Dave's line "For they walk through the world in toe- (this is Scott, on the crampity shoes." (cross "Do You?" (Bruce/Kevin/Mark, pointing (to camera A-MEN (this is Dave, who exits (hand-in-hand with T. Foo Trivia note: I read somewhere that the CBC crew refused to do the taping on this bit, so they had to use freelancers. They still have laws on the books in Canada that make blasphemy a criminal offence. I also know *Jabberwocky* Gary Tyrrell tyrrell@ifu.ifu.net -- "So says YOU!!" -- Kevin (who else?=) Article 10767 of alt.tv.kids-in-hall: Newsgroups: alt.tv.kids-in-hall Path: matra.meer.net!flop.mcom.com!news.Stanford.EDU!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!news.moneng.mei.com!howland.reston.ans.net!ix.netcom.com!netcom.com!osheroff From: osheroff@netcom.com (ray osheroff) Subject: Re: Dr. Suess Bible??? Message-ID: Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261-4700 guest) X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL1] References: <40vu3c$cv2@nic.umass.edu> Date: Fri, 18 Aug 1995 04:12:55 GMT Lines: 47 Sender: osheroff@netcom11.netcom.com ltv@wilde.oit.umass.edu wrote: The Dr. Seuss Bible One day God said, this is what I will do, I'll send down my son, I'll send him to you. To clear up this humpity bumpity hulabaloo. His name will be Christ, and he'll never weear shoes, His pals will all call him the king og the Jews. He didn't come in a plane, he didn't come in a Jeep. He didn't come in the pouch of a high-jumping vo-veep. He rode on the back of a black sasatoo, Which is the blackiest creature you ever could view. He rode to Jerusalem, home of the grumpity Jews, Where false prophets were worshipped, some even in twos. There was Murray von Murr and Genghis vo Voos, The one you could worship by taking a snooze. Christ spoke from a mound, which is as pile of ground, And people gathered around, without making a sound. Thus he spake. Sin in socks, socks full of sin. How do we quiet this Jehovady din? Do unto others as they do unto you, that includes YOU, young Timothy Fu. One Pharisee said to another he knew, What shall we do with this upitty Jew? We could wash him in wine, and make him all clean, And into Sam Zittle's crusifixion machine. Twirl the Gawhirl, release the Gafleze, And in go the nails, as fast as you please. And it is said that he said as he bled, Forgive them father for they know not what they do, For they walk through this life in toe crampity shoes. Do you? Amen. -- Oh well, what the hell, (sang McWatt) _________________________________ Ben Osheroff / osheroff@netcom.com