Article 4 of best.bizarre: Path: matra.meer.net!news1.best.com!nntp2.ba.best.com!not-for-mail From: David Moore Newsgroups: best.bizarre Subject: Girls vs Women Date: Thu, 31 Jul 1997 09:57:54 +0100 Organization: Nua Ltd Lines: 119 Distribution: best Message-ID: <33E05391.52444B3F@nua.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: 194.106.137.162 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.01 [en] (WinNT; I) X-Priority: 3 (Normal) Cache-Post-Path: copernicus.nua.net!unknown@caravaggio.nua.net Xref: matra.meer.net best.bizarre:4 ******************************************************************* NUA MODEST PROPOSALS NUA MODEST PROPOSALS NUA MODEST PROPOSALS Weekly free email on popular culture issues By David Moore Email: modest@nua.ie Web: http://www.nua.ie/modestproposals ******************************************************************* 30th July 1997 Published By: Nua Limited Vol 1. No. 15 ******************************************************************* Girls vs Women I am a girl. It doesn’t matter what side of 21 I am, I am still a girl. On the other hand, I know some females who were born women. No-one I know personally has followed the natural progression from child to girl to woman. I’m told such freaks exist, but they are always cousins of friends, friends of friends, sisters of friends. Not that I have a (serious) fear of growing old, but I just have not found anything that excites me more than seeing my favourite band live (and probably buying the t-shirt as well). I do aspire to being a woman, but not just yet. Nursing my hangover and filling my house with useless but pretty things seems preferable to contemplating a mortgage. Socially, girls and women are easily distinguished. Women go on girls’ nights with other women and look very silly getting pissed on lots of wine; without fail, they order a stripogram during hen parties (usually in an Italian restaurant so the obligatory bowl of penis-pasta can be wheeled out yet again.) Girls, on the other hand, don’t go on girls’ nights out. They go out with a group of boys and girls. In addition, Girls often seem to do things women advise against, such as going out with an ex-boyfriend and getting drunk (and major woman sin: snogging him again). As far as clothes are concerned, all girls own at least one pair of jeans. Women wear slacks that are usually part of a suit. Women own lots of suits while a girl is lucky to scrape two matching shades of black together for an interview. Both groups wear make-up, but women buy the expensive types, along with numerous big brand-name cleansers and toners. Girls, always look out for the words 'not tested on animals', where women require a sufficient quota of AHAs and other promises of eternal youth. Women put make-up on to go to the supermarket. Girls do get married, but marriage does not make them a woman (honest or otherwise), and many have made this mistake. However, girls tend to get married older than women, with the hen night as an extension of a regular night out, but without guys. Nor does having children turn a girl into a woman. In fact, girls make better mothers, having more time and patience, and a better memory of what it was like to be young. Older girl mothers can swap clothes with their teenage daughters, go shopping together and giggle a lot. Certain things about being a woman are sexy, and some women are very sexy. Girls on the other hand will also have a certain underage look about them. Going out in a flower-print cotton dress the other day I commented to my mother that I looked about fourteen, to which she replied, 'It’s better to look fourteen than forty.' For me, that says it all. Tara Gleeson 30th July 1997 Feedback and comments to: modest@nua.ie ******************************************************************* SPONSORSHIP: While Modest Proposals will always remain free to the subscriber, Nua is always willing to talk to interested parties with regard to sponsorship. Contact David Moore: david@nua.ie ******************************************************************* For Modest Proposals archives, please go to: http://www.nua.ie/modestproposals/archives/index.html ******************************************************************* NUA LIMITED Nua, a vibrant, innovative, Irish company whose focus is in helping progressive organisations adapt to the new environment created by the Internet. 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