Article 6006 of rec.humor.funny: Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: Open Letter to French Prime Minister Organization: Computer Science Department, UMass Reply-To: pedregal@cs.umass.edu From: pedregal@eon.cs.umass.edu (Cris Pedregal Martin) Keywords: topical, chuckle Approved: funny-request@clari.net Path: matra.meer.net!goonsquad.spies.com!genmagic!sgigate.sgi.com!swrinde!cs.utexas.edu!news.sprintlink.net!uunet!in2.uu.net!looking!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Sat, 5 Aug 95 12:20:01 EDT Lines: 42 This appeared in a local newsgroup; sorry, no attributions... ------------------------------------------------------------------ Here's the open letter published in an Australian newspaper: An open letter to M. Jacques Chirac: Mon cher Jack Je suis a bit fromaged off avec votre decision to blow up La Pacifique avec le Frog bombes nuclears. Je reckon vous must have un spot in La Belle France itself pour les explosions. Le Massive Central? Le Quay d'Orsay? Le Champs Elysees? Votre own back yard, peut etre? Frappez le crows avec stones, Sport! La guerre cold est fini! Votres forces militaire need la bombe atomique about as beacoup as poisson need les bicyclettes. Un autre point, cobber. Votre histoire militaire isn't tres flash, consisting, n'est-ce pas, of battailles the likes of Crecy, Agincourt, Poitiers, Trafalgar, Borodino, Waterloo, Sedan, et Dien Bien Phu. Un bombe won't change le tradition. Je/mon pere/ mon grand pere/le cousing third avec ma grandmere/la plume de ma tante fought avec votre soldats against Le Boche in WWI (le Big One). Have vous forgotten? Reconsider, mon ami, otherwise in le hotels et estaminets de l'Australie le curse anciens d'Angleterre - "Damnation to the French" - will be heard un autre temps. Votre chums don't want that. Millo. -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@clari.net. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Please don't send us requests of the form, "could you please send me the joke about XXX?" Yes, we have it, but if we were willing to let ourselves be a joke server we would spend all day doing it. We reject all such requests.