Article 7334 of rec.humor.funny:
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From: "Nathalie Haynes" <nhaynes@shl.com>
Subject: Men's Rules for Women
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Date: Wed, 22 Oct 1997 13:52:55 GMT
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I know a number of people at one point were looking for these.  Enjoy.....

Nathalie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Men's Rules for Women

01-If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include
something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried,
Beer, and Red.

02-Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.

03-Shopping is not fascinating.

04-When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is
only joking.

05-Unless the answer is yes.

06-In which case, can he videotape it?

07-If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.

08-The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick
and/or tending the grill.

09-Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (e.g.,
microwaving a burrito, fixing spaghetti, etc.) should be met with
roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon her infant
when it walks for the first time.

10-Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.

11-He heard you the first time.

12-You know, YOU can ask HIM out, too. Let's spread the rejection around
a little.

13-Of COURSE he wants another beer.

14-Dogs good. Cats bad.

15-Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.

16-"Fine!" is not an acceptable way to end an argument.

17-Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting
he stop for directions.

18-He was not looking at that other girl, I mean woman.

19-Well, okay... maybe a little.

20-Remember: That Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in
the shower.

21-Dirty laundry comes in several categories:
  --Looks fine/smells fine
  --looks fine/smells bad
  --looks dirty/smells fine
   Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized
in this manner.

22-Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than
you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking
than he is. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of
these people, love the one you're with.

23-Just because this list doesn't have as many entries as yours, it
doesn't mean it's any less important.


B.Myers bmyers@IAFRICA.COM