Article 6687 of rec.humor.funny:
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Organization: Stylus Innovation, Inc.
From: brucep@stylus.com (Bruce Pennypacker)
Subject: Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers
Keywords: chuckle, computers
Approved: funny-request@clari.net
Path: matra.meer.net!news.spies.com!genmagic!news.sgi.com!olivea!hal.COM!nntp-sc.barrnet.net!fugue.clari.net!funny-request
Message-ID: <S9eb.4a8a@clarinet.com>
Date: Mon, 29 Jul 96 19:30:01 EDT
Lines: 33


20)  Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19)  Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18)  Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17)  Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
16)  Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
15)  Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
14)  Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing   
www.pethouse.com instead of working.
13)  Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
12)  Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
11)  Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies   
tail-wagging.
10)  Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft   
Opposable Thumb.
  9)  Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
  8)  'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS!  Now, cats, on the other hand...
  7)  Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition   
software.
  6)  SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
  5)  SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the   
question!
  4)  Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
  3)  Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
  2)  Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat   
rooms.
  1)  TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.

--
Selected by Jim Griffith.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clari.net.
If you see a problem with an RHF posting, reply to the poster please,
not to us.  Ask the poster to forward comments back to us if this is necessary.
For the full RHF guidelines, see http://comedy.clari.net/rhf/