Article 67577 of soc.couples:
From: marane@aol.com (Marane)
Newsgroups: soc.couples
Subject: Re: Advice to nice guys
Date: 13 Nov 1997 15:27:49 GMT
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This is a little advice from a nice girl:

In getting into a healthy relationahip with a nice girl, think carefully about
 what she NEEDS to feel good.  Just like a nice guy, the definition of a nice
 girl could be: Someone who is 
 >understanding, unselfish, supportive and romantic  rather than simply out for
  whatever she  can get

This means:

1.  she wants to understand you.  Don't put up a fake strong front when there
 is something wrong.  How can she be understanding if you won't communicate? 
 If she's done something wrong she wants to know.  If she's a nice girl she
 will want to know so there is not a repeat of this event, problem,etc... If
 the problem in your life is not her, she will be relieved and glad that you
 trust her enough to confide in her.

2.  she wants to be unselfish.  Let her be helpful to you.  Let her give.  It
 will make her feel good.  A "thank you, that was so thoughtful" will go much
 further than, "don't buy me anything for... or don't go through the trouble
 of..."  Give her the gift of allowing her to give.

3.  she wants to be supportive.  Your car is in the shop and she wants to drive
 you to work... let her.  You broke your arm and she wants to do your
 laundry... let her.  She wants to feel of value to you.

4.  she wants to be romantic.  Show your appreciation for the silk boxers, the
 flowers on your birthday, and the homemade cheesecake.  This is probably the
 easiest "flaw" of the nice girl to accept.

5.  she is not out to get stuff from you.  She wants your company.  She wants a
 stable committed relationship (and usually marriage).  She doesn't expect you
 to be perfect.  She wants to share in the ups and downs of life with you --
 communicate, communicate, communicate.

Unfortunately, the nice girl is usually hard to find.  She is not the one at
 the bar that walks up to you and asks to go home with you.  Nor is she the
 woman at the beach that catches your eye due to her attire (or lack of it). 
 She is usually the woman that you see every week at the mini-mart getting gas
 or the woman at the bookstore on friday night, getting a good magazine to go
 home and cuddle up with.  She is usually quite ordinary looking, because she
 is not trying to "catch" someone.

It is easy to get to know a nice girl.  They are very polite and respond very
 well to "Hi, is that a good book?..." or  "Hi, I feel really nervous at events
 like this where I don't know anyone..."  Nice girls want to be helpful and
 answer questions or put people at ease.

Why don't more nice guys wind up with nice girls?  It may be the lack of
 balance.  Think about it... to be able to give, you have to have someone
 willing to take.  If you are both givers and feel uncomfortable about taking,
 it can feel really strange--possibly to the point of ending the relationship. 
 

For all the nice guys that find nice girls, and vice versa, it doesn't mean
 that you will have a relationship without problems.  It means that you will
 have a relationship with different (and perhaps better) problems.  From first
 hand experience, I will tell you that the good parts are excellent and the
 difficult parts are worth the work.